Work is a hell of a drug
You see, the dividing line between me (a person) and my work (something I am paid to do) is tenuous at best. I’m more than just an employee, naturally. I’m also a friend, a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter, and someone in desperate need of some hobbies. But the hard truth is that if I’m working, I’m never not fully consumed by my job. At my worst, I like it this way. I am good at work, where I can be capable and in control, and not so good at life, where things are messy and unpredictable.
I really resonated with this sentiment from Kelly Watkins, and have slowly come to understand that I’ll often pour myself into work as a safe harbor where I have some amount of agency in the face of things outside of work that are outside my control.thisisliminality.substack.com